its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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