I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
