Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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