Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
