it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
