bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I hope mine doesn't look like that
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
