I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
