so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
The adults are the big ones right?
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
