Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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