it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
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