it wasn't lemon gatorade
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
