If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
