apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
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stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
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It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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