i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Randomize