i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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