I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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