I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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