Will you blow on my dice?
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Randomize
