I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Is Oprah even human
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize