normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize