he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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