Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Randomize
