he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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