His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
