I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
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He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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