That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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