I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
A bitchslap is in order.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
