You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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