I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
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