had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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