Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
