he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize