your address is 607B right?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means