Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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