Babe...You're really smothering me right now
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.