You can't special order awesome
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.