Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(619): View more from California

I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough

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(712): View more from Iowa

it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe

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(770): View more from Georgia

Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.

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29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
Read it at the TFLN blog
(812): View more from Indiana

Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...

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(540): View more from Virginia

i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing

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(443): View more from Maryland

EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME

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(402): View more from Nebraska

Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.

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(240): View more from Maryland

The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.

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