Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
