My brain says no but my pants say off.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Randomize
