No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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