shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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