but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
