thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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