we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Who died my cat blue again?
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