I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
