Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Randomize
