I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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