I'm going to jail i love you
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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