This is not my ceiling
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
