How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
