I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
