So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize