i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize
