Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
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