I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
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