Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
