You're so nebulous sometimes
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
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After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
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This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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