I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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