This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
It's never too late to be topless.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
