yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
