I should be sponsored by Trojan
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I wish i was in the wii world.
Ketchup is God's man juice
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
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