I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
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