Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
