Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Just invented taco cereal.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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