Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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