Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
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